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poor_grima's Journal

Hey, kids. It's Storytime with Grima!, so gather round!

Once upon a time there was this kid named Grima, who's father was Galmod. Now, Grima wanted to be a rider for Rohan, but wasn't big and vikingly enough. And he couldn't bring himself to put his hair in braids as he thought that looked plain stupid.

So he started working at the palace, doing all sorts of stuff and being a scribe and eventually ended up working as Theoden's advisor.

Now, he was a good kid. He didn't really have much plans with his life except to be a good citizen and ride around on his horse Smurfcrusher.

Then he met Saruman.

See, Saruman had this amazing voice where he could make you do and believe whatever he told you. And Grima began working for him. As time went on, Grima got nastier and nastier. A combination of slowly poisoning his king's mind against his will and going further and further in Saruman's influence.

After a while, it wasn't against his will.

People did catch on after a while, started calling Grima Wormtongue. And eventually, when Gandalf zapped him, Grima ended up getting exiled.

What happens next?

Grima runs to Saruman.

Saruman tries to pull the same trick with Theoden and co. but fails miserably and has his power stolen.

Saruman becomes a beggar and hightails it to the Shire. Grima follows because what else can he do? He can't go back to his own country and he's pretty much Saruman's, body and soul.

While in the shire, Grima commits murder for the first time at Saruman's orders.

Finally, Saruman is completely kicked out of the shire. Grima's still in a daze from how screwed up everything has become. Suddenly, he realizes he has one last chance to redeem himself.

He can kill Saruman.

After he does this, he's shot down by a bunch of hobbits but he's achieved something, grabbed a little bit of himself back.

Then a stupid god screws up and brings him back and dumps him among his enemies, switches his body around as it amuses her, and treats him like a pet and a toy.

Grima tries to get himself some revenge, mess with people's minds, have some fun, but he can't help the truth.

He hates every single one of you.

So, yes. I hate you all. I have no reason to like any of you and my life is hell.

Two gods tortured me to death, made me look like Casper, and then another god brought me back to life as Adam Beach.

Them Eomer's psycho son proposed to me, leading to a series of events which ended in me dying. It turns out it was just an elaborate plan to get me killed in revenge for his family.

Sick fuck.

Now I'm in the halls of Mandos.

It never ends.
adam beach, adding some colour, bad luck, betrayal, bob marley, casper, evil, garak, hitting on princesses, irritating princes, kittens, living, lore, manipulating kings, neelix, pissing off este, self pity, twinkies, working for saruman